my new favorite pants

At 8pm I got myself out the door to go shopping. That’s right- 8pm- shopping. At 7:30 I had let the idea slide, but by 8, with one single hour of shopping possibility left, I was raring to go. I was in search of some nice slacks, some fancy pants. Or a pencil skirt, a pencil skirt could work too. I’ve got something coming up soon and I need to look fine – well, at least less like I rolled out of bed than usual.

Old Navy here I come. Because if it’s a short-lived outfit then it better not cost me a paycheck. (The new Anthropologie catalog came today and I might have drooled all over it.) I new before I stepped in the door that Old Navy might be trouble for me. Keeping to a budget and severely restricting my shopping makes any entrance into a store prompt salivation like a binge eater in Sam’s. But, I needed some fancy pants. Or a pencil skirt so I mentally prepared myself NOT TO TRY ON ANYTHING but fancy pants. Or a pencil skirt.

And then, I walked through the shoplifting scanners and immediately veered to the left knowing full well that the career wear is in the back, the way back. To. The. Right.

The first mistake- picking something off the rack. Once one thing is schlepped over my arms I’m in an all-or-nothing mode and I just decide to try on anything and everything. About 12 things later I enter the dressing room with no fancy pants. Only a pencil skirt. Alfie was my kind, enthuseastic dressing room attendant who promised to help me in any way as he separately hung up every item I picked out.

Second mistake- trying on the cute clothes. I knew I wouldn’t leave with everything I brought in, but I had to try them. The first shirt/dress = precious. And now my mind starts to calculate how smart a purchase it is and where and with what I could wear it. Bad, bad things. Then I tried on the pencil skirt that actually was a size smaller than I wanted, but it was THE ONLY PENCIL SKIRT ON THE RACK (um, near my size and on sale). So, since it was a wee bit small I did the thing that girls sometimes do. I hiked the skirt way up my stomach so I could manipulate the zipper then pull the skirt down around my bum. Yeah, that worked but it hurt and in trying to get the skirt back turned around as to unzip it I almost began yelling for Alfie and then I envisioned his horrified look with my half turned around pencil skirt and mismatched shirt and red face and hair flung everywhere and then... woo, I got it undone.

Third mistake- taking a second look around. So, after reluctantly taking out only 2 tanks and one cute shirt/ dress, I lazily walked to the checkout while still perusing and that’s when I saw them - linen capris. Oh to the Oh NO! So yeah, they were totally in hand and while they were in my hand I might as well just pick up this pair of shorts cause they look cute and if they don’t fit or look cute then I could bring them back because I shouldn’t be buying anything anyway and I will probably bring some stuff back so I’ll just pick that right up and try them on at home and bring them back cause… you know.

But, the happy ending is the linen capris. They are not fancy pants. Or a pencil skirt, but they are heaven, heaven in orange linen. I’m wearing them tomorrow, with no guilt.