a bridge too far

I cross a bridge every morning to work. On one side is a gorgeous view of the river and based on whether I can see rocks peeking out I can tell the river’s level. On the other side is a beautiful train bridge, made of grey concrete with these amazing arches that support the flat surface for the rails. Every morning I look to the right and check the river level then look to the left and marvel at the manmade creation. Every afternoon I do the opposite.

When I started working in Richmond I was coming from a very stressful teaching situation, one in which I would throw up before school. I knew that Richmond would be better for me, and it has been tenfold, but when I got my school placements and charted my daily path I gave myself an ultimatum that I would never be so stressed out that I could not look left and right and enjoy the view on my way in. I have never missed a view, partly because it has become habit. Even when I cross the bridge at night to go visit friends, I look right then left. I have never missed a view, until today.

The reason is silly. Since winter break, my sleep schedule has been wacko. I am such a night person that staying up until 2am is natural for me, but it’s not good when you have to be up by 8am. So, last week I’d barely make it in to work then come home and take a nap then barely make it in then come home and take and nap and so on and so on. I was hoping the weekend would fix it, but I took naps then too. Yesterday was awful. I didn’t even realize I was that tired, but I napped for 4 1/2 hours. That’s bad. I then got up and had so much energy that I cleaned 2 rooms and did 3 loads of laundry. But of course, I couldn’t go back to sleep so this morning, after oversleeping by 10 minutes I raced out the door in a sleep filled haze and crossed the river with no looking to either side of me. At least I think I didn’t look, maybe I did, but I was so exhausted I can’t remember. All I was thinking about was the end of the day and coming home to take a nap.