i am my own shock absorbers

My thighs have been aching for days. That’s right, aching. I walk like an old man, or a pregnant lady, or like I am mentally unstable. One of those might be true. You pick.

It’s all because I was a little too excited about the Jet Ski and the jumping of the waves and I underestimated the amount of muscles in your thighs it takes when you have to squat and absorb the bounce of sailing 6 to 12 inches above the small waves of Lake Gaston. It took me a while to get use to the steering. I treated it like a car. That was the wrong thing to do. I’m lucky the docks and other boats moved out of my way until I got my footing. And when I finally got the hang of it, WATCH OUT! I sped through that lake like a rocket, with thunder between my legs, my face and hair pushed back by the rushing air. And then when I managed to peel myself off of the rocket-made-for-water device, my legs turned to Jell-O and since then I have been walking as if drunk. And I’m sunburned to boot. And it’s not sexy cause it’s in the shape of the lifejacket I was wearing. Yeah, I’m cool like that. I ride like that. I absorb shock like that. And I know, you’re jealous, but remember that walking up and down stairs is totally and completely overrated!