virtual battles of non-boyfriends

Why Andre would make a better virtual non-boyfriend than the new guy would make an actual, real-life boyfriend. In numbered points so that it is clear for you.

1- When talking to Andre and his mother phones on another line, he ignores it.
When current boy’s mom interrupts our phone conversation, he gets off the phone, says he’ll call me back and never does.
2- Andre has long conversations. He spends time talking. Current boy must have ADHD because his phone conversations last like 5 minutes. I like long conversations.
3- I talk to Andre more frequently or have at least in the last 4 days. Current boys says things like “I’m sorry we keep missing each other.” To which, I’d like to reply, “We’re not missing each other, when you said at 6:00pm that you would call me later that night and then didn’t, that’s not missing each other, that’s you not calling.” Argh!
4- Andre talks to me, he asks questions and let’s me interject. Current boy moves from topic to topic while I stare at the wall. Hmmm.
5- I told Andre to shut up and listen to my story. He protested and then he did it. I can’t get a “between breath” moment in current boy’s talking to say “I really have to pee” much less tell him a story.
6- Andre interrupts my stories, but that is OK because then we get on another topic that we both talk about. Current boy interrupts my stories so that he can talk for another 30 minutes without interruptions.
7- Andre makes me laugh. Current boy has yet to do that.
8- Andre’s British. Enough said.