here's another effed up one

Kristin started playing ADDJ (she calls it) flipping from one song to another after only a line or two. She flipped from one lonely heart song to another, one effed up love life after another. And apparently, all the songwriters had peeked into my life.

“Listen to this. This is so your life,” Kristin says and presses play. And the song goes, “I tried again. I went last night. Another date was just not right. And as I drove myself back home, A little voice said just be alone.”

“Ohmigod, that is so my life,” a little voice inside my own head was saying.

And the song continued, “I love the world just as it is And I won’t lose my faith in it But there are days I think of you saying ‘hey, that’s beautiful, Yeah, I see it too’”

A friend of mine who got married to an amazing man this past July once told me that she wanted a man, needed a man to make her happy. I told her that I never wanted to feel that way that I wanted someone to add to my life's happiness, but not be THE person or thing that made me content. And while I don’t think that’s really want she found in the end, I can’t help but see that she is married and I am not and the clear difference between us was her drive and desire for that addition in her life. I want it too, but the drive and desire is not at 100% because just like the song says, “I love this world just as it is And I won’t lose my faith in it.” Sometimes though, comfort is a dangerous thing.

The songs chorus is, “I’ll miss you ‘til I meet you.” It’s a hopeful refrain that the good life, i.e. the good love, really does exist. I don’t know. I hope it does, but honestly, I think I can live this life just like it is. And that's OK. That doesn’t mean I don’t agree with Kristin and think that someone read my soul and that someone was Dar Williams and the song is I’ll Miss You Till I’ll Meet You.

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