sometimes is not now

Sometimes I live in moments, in breaths of air, in words that should be tossed aside or let out to dry. Sometimes I move through moments too quickly, rushing them to get to the next, to the ones I will relive, the ones that keep me up at night, the ones that keep me hoping, that twist my days and nights around.

Sometimes I let the weight of things settle and feel the heft of emptiness. Sometimes I wish I had held the moment a second longer to make something permenant.

It is not enough to say, "I wish. I wonder." I want to say, "I know and I will never not." That sometimes is not now.