in a grown up world

Before I left for the beach a lot in my life changed. 1) I almost put a bid on a condo, but the prospect did not turn out so good and now my homebuying status is in limbo. 2) I chopped all my hair off and gave it to Locks of Love. 3) A good friend left for the left coast and I didn't even say goodbye.

Somehow I put all that out of my mind, packed for the beach and have been in a lazy beach mode since then. I've read a book and half already, floated in the waves twice (a big deal for me- I hate saltwater and I immediately have to shower after exiting), watched a movie, fought with my brother, played with my nieces and nephew, hosted a murder, cooked dinner for 12 people and just forgot about time and the ringing cell phone. I've become a hippy. I've tuned in, turned on and dropped out.

But no matter how much I want to push the grown up world away, I have to face it. I have to make some big financial decisions today and I'd rather not. I'd rather someone tell me what to do and let my trust in people be the right choice, the one that keeps me safe and makes me happy. And the ironic thing is is that I don't like to listen to what other people think I should do. I am fiercely independent. And yet.