does it go like this?

You’re lost though you don’t think you are lost. You’re fine with where you are. You’re taking in the scenery; you’re learning the language and meeting new friends. But, every once in awhile something, like a sign post, or someone, like a stranger, spells it out or whispers in your ear “you’re lost, you’re not suppose to be here.” You don’t understand those signs, you think it is some marketing ploy for something you don’t subscribe to and those strangers who appear out of nowhere, you just think they are homeless crazies and you ignore them too. But somewhere in the crevices of your cerebral cortex you know those messages are for you. You consciously refuse to believe that you are lost. You want the place you are to be where you should be. You want the people around you to be the ones who will be with you forever. You like this place, the scenery, the people. You like who you are here even though you know something is missing, that you are not exactly what you are suppose to be. You are OK with the missing pieces in this place. You’re learning to accept them. But the signs and strangers are getting larger and louder and you begin feeling a little more out of place. You don’t quite feel lost, but uneasiness is coming on. You think it’s just a cold or the dark of winter. You just don’t want the messages to be true. You worry that you choices have put you in the wrong place, that this was the wrong exit off the highway, that this is a never-ending detour. You begin to believe that you are lost, but you have no idea where you should be or how to leave where you are. And occasionally you scream at the signs and the strangers “I know I’m lost, but I don’t know what to do about it!”

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