obligation

You’re expecting my look back at the past year or my list of resolutions. You won’t get either. Looking back is something I do on an almost daily basis so read the history if you need that. And as for resolutions, I don’t make them. As I said on January 1, 2004, “I resolve not to resolve.” It’s silly to me, kinda like Valentine’s Day is silly and things of this nature. If we are to make resolutions to better our lives, let’s do that everyday, not once a year. And if we are to proclaim our love for someone, let’s do that everyday too. Happy New Year’s and may you have someone to kiss at the first moment of 2005.

so this is christmas

I've been gone entirely too long. I realize that. I planned a short visit home, but then the days kept getting longer and then suddenly it's four days later than I had planned. At least your stay at home is never unwelcomed. I miss blogland and I'll return soon. In the meantime, think of all the red velvet cake, maryalice cookies, noel nut balls, biscuits, over easy eggs, ham, pork tenderloin and oyster stew that I've eaten (I know, some of that sounds gross, but what can you do with family traditions?). Soon, I'm heading home to my very own apartment where I hope my highly flammable dried out tree has not burned down the whole complex. I'll be sleeping under my new down comforter, waking to grind coffee and brew it in my new french press and scramble some eggs in my new cast iron skillet. Then I'll be returning some clothes that, let's face even though Mom had good intentions, are more old lady than hip young single girl, then I'll be spending my Barnes and Nobles giftcard money and downloading songs from iTunes. Altogether, not a bad haul and yes, I wish you had been here the whole time!

fruits of my labor

My website for my handmade-with-all-the-love-in-the-world purses is up. It's very much still in production mode, but I'll let you look at it and get a craving for fabulous purse. Come on, you know you want one!

christmas is dead

or so my tree is. My poor Christmas tree is dropping needles like it’s green snow. It also smells a bit. I know, you’re thinking that of course it smells, smells like its balsam piney self, but no. It smells like fermenting sappy water, which is what is happening in its little stand. Ew, gross. I know, but I went through this last year too and was hoping against hope that my tree was fresher this year and this wouldn’t happen. So much for hoping.

Today I’ve been to three different target stores. Why? Well, because the first 2 didn’t have The Bourne Identity, which my dad wants for Christmas. Barnes and Noble didn’t have it either and I can’t get it from Amazon without paying a buttload for express shipping. Target it had it 2 weeks ago, but that was before I decided I wanted to get it for him. Bahumbug and all that noise.

While in target I noticed some Hershey kisses bags by the register and upon closer inspection saw that they were pink and red. That’s right people, Christmas isn’t over, Hanukkah barely is, and Kwanza hasn’t even started, but hurry quick, get your Valentine’s Day chocolates now!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In happier news I’ve been added to Jewish Blogography . I’m honored. Although I’m way down near the bottom of the page and
I have no idea who is running the website I am just honored. Part of me wants to be Jewish so I’m even more honored. Go Jews since it seems Christmas is in fact dead.

And if you sent me a Christmas card or Snowman card (for my Jewish friends) then thanks and here they are displayed in my living room (minus those God forsaken photo things with the printed Christmas wishes that I have no idea what to do with, but thanks for think of me anyway!).




the fallen

white christmas

It's snowing outside. I love it. I love snow. It won't last 'til tomorrow as the temperature will rise and burn it away, but for now the grass is covered in a thin layer of white.

I love the way that snow makes everything quiet. It always helps silence my mind too, makes me slow down and just appreciate the calm. I wish you were here with me, blanketed by the snow, under a down comforter, lit by the lights on my Christmas tree and the candles all around. I wish you were in here in the calm of winter's storm.

receiving

I've already gotten my most favorite Christmas gifts and it's not even the big day yet. Both came via mail and both were from my Aunts. The first was a large package yesterday with a small box inside. It said "open early" so I did. Inside were two glass ornaments shaped like purses and precious namecards with a purse on each one. My Aunt E. is totally excited about my knitted purses. She's trying to sell them to stores for me in NC. Her present was a show of support.

The second present came today in a small bubble wrap package. There was no note or message, just my Aunt A.'s address on the outside. I opened it, not sure why she was sending me a package in addition to her Christmas card. Inside was a beautiful shoe bage, a luxury item used when traveling to keep you most precious shoes safe. It is adorable, white with a pastel colored, high heel mule embroideredon it. She had it personalized too with a scripted A. It's awesome.

Christmas is a great time of year not because I love presents, but because I love giving them too. It just feels good to give someone something you know they will love. For me, as my Aunts hit the nail on the head, it's all about purses and shoes. May your fetish wishes be complimented by similiar gifts. Merry giving and even merrier receiving!

insomniac

My favorite acapella song in college was "insomniac." Partly because I am a half-breed insomniac and partly because I drooled over the men who sang the song in their all male group. I've been staying up later and later in the last two weeks because I'm naturally a night owl. I get exhausted during the day and wind up taking a nap when I get home and then again with the late night. This is why I'm a half-breed, a full-breed could go without the nap, I can't. I do go to bed each night with the intention to be asleep my midnight, but it usually never works. Tonight I'm up looking for movie times because I can go see movies in the middle of the day any day next week. I think my late nights these past weeks are just training for the next 2 weeks off from school. That's right suckaz, I've got 2 weeks of freadom ahead of me. I know, you're jealous and you wish you got paid nothing for teaching snotty nose kids all day just so you could have a nice winter break. It's a perk, I know, but let me tell you something else. If I had a nickel for every germ I'm exposed to, I'd be a millionaire, instead I get good vacations. So, go back to your desks, computers, and paperwork, I'll be wiping kids noses until 3:30 on Friday then I'll be up LATE night for the next 2 weeks. SuckaZ!

christmas card fraud

*warning: this may offend, but remember that i love you

I take Christmas cards seriously. I search high and low for the perfect one. Of course I get them the day after Christmas when they are on megasale, but I find the best ones I can. Even before Christmas I go through the unmarked down card section just to see the designs. I love the colors and whimsical pictures and the sentiment. Christmas cards are one of my favorite things. I've send them to friends and family since my 4th year in college. I think I inspired my friends to do the same. It's just one of the best things to me and everyday this Decemeber I've been running to my mailbox to see who sent me one today.

This year I've been a little disapointed. Maybe I'm a Christmas cards snob. Maybe I think Christmas cards say a lot about who you are and therefore should be fabulous, if you are indeed fabulous. There are 4 Christmas cards so far this year that feature a picture of a couple, of a couple and a dog, or of a single child. OK, so, we all know about the picture on a postcard with printed Christmas wishes. But, really. If you don't have children don't do this. This is velveeta. This is a Christmas card hoax. I can't display a flat piece of paper. What do you want me to do with this thing, put it on a tray, use it as a coaster. What is going on people, were are the real Christmas cards. I sent Cranes this year and you give me velveeta. Oh, Christmas, my heart bleeds to you!

christmas in my house

Christmas in my house this year has a tree with a crooked top. That's why I bought it, cause it's a little crooked, like me. There's a wreath on my door and bells ring when you enter. There are goodies all around like dishes of chocolate, russian tea, panettone and moravian spice cookies. There are decorations about like a tree of shiny balls and a bowl full of shiny christmasness. My paperwhites are not yet blooming or I'd show them to you. Have fun with these and drink some eggnog for me.

batting a thousand, words that is

I know, I know. You’re so excited to see photos and proof of life on this page. I know, I know, fabulous things are in store for both of us; I get to show you things and you get to see them. It must be like sight for the blind. Now, don’t go expecting a picture everyday and certainly don’t go expecting a picture of me (I not comfortable with that yet). It’s lucky I’m letting you “see” parts of my life to begin with. So, people, feast thine eyes!!!

happy little fingers

The prettiest purse

This is my favorite purse that I make and I've already had 3 orders for it. Want one, email me at gapgirl at gmail dot com.

proof

proof of a wound

Yep, six stitches this past June. No lie. See proof.

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

tanenbaum

I believe in Christmas and all the trimmings, and trappings. Growing up we always had at least an 8-foot tree that skimmed the ceiling in our living room. It stood in the center of the living room’s large window so that we and anyone passing by could enjoy it. I loved that, that our tree was there for others to see and enjoy too.

The way my mother decorated the tree is my favorite part of Christmas. Boxes upon boxes upon boxes of ornaments were hauled down from the attic or up from the basement and each person was given a box to begin the hours of decorating that would ensue. As I grew older, I tired of the decorating, but never of the finished product.

Our ornaments came from all over and from almost everyone important in our lives. The ornaments on our tree told storied about our vacations, our milestones, our favorite things, our hobbies, our careers, our activities, and our triumphs. And some were just beautiful. I remember a tiny pair of Japanese slippers that our neighbors brought to us after her year of teaching English in Japan. Then there was a small bird that chirped when you passed by him. He was given to my mom by her best friend even though my mother is terrified of birds. Every time, it chirped as I walked past, I laughed a little to myself.

Our tree was so filled with ornaments after year and years of collecting and 3 children making them at school that people began to describe our tree as the “exploding Christmas tree.” I love that to this day. Our tree was mostly ornaments and lights. No tinsel, no flashiness, and barely a hint of the green Frasier fir needles poking through. Our tree is a story of our lives, our memories that we revisit every year.

This weekend I got a tree for my living room. I’ve had a tree every year that I’ve been away from home, fake one in colleges, real ones since. My mother has begun to whittle down the expansive collection of ornaments and parcel them out to her children. And so, I decorated my tree on Sunday with white lights, and old discarded ornaments from my childhood. None of them are sentimental because my mother kept those. My tree is adorned with the cast-offs, the fillers, but none the less it’s a small tree filled with Christmas and a few stories like the ornaments my aunt made that were featured in Southern Living and one from my solo trip to London. My Christmas tree is beginning to tell its story. I’m sure it will fill up faster that I will realize.

the things we take for granted

I teach kids with special needs so I hear about and see all kinds of strange and wonderful things each day. Disabilities don’t scare me or freak me out and it is rare when a disability surprises me. There is such a range of disability from very mild (slow learner) to severe and profound (cerebral palsy or autism). Sometimes I can’t believe that I turned out OK, that I have 10 fingers, 10 toes and can communicate with people around me and my environment. Thinking about these things does not at all consume a large part of my thoughts, but it pops up every now and then mostly in conjunction of wanting to have children. Growing up I thought I wanted to have a truckload of kids, at least 5. I’m not from a big family, but I just love children so much that I wanted a ton of them. After being a special ed. teacher, I’m scared of the possibilities of all the disabilities. When it’s your job you are still removed from it, but when it is in your family, you live it. My niece has recently been diagnosed with a speech disorder. It’s called apraxia and it affects the motor planning for speech. She’s a smart 2 year-old, but she wasn’t adding words to her vocab. and a few assessments revealed that she has a disability. I can’t believe it’s in my family, that it’s so close to me. And being on this side has changed my perspective a little. My niece should be OK, she’s smart and it doesn’t affect her cognitively. But, imagine knowing what you want to say, having thoughts race through your head and you can’t get it out, you can’t get your mouth to make the right sounds, you stand there wanting so much to tell others what you know, but your mouth won’t let you. Just imagine, the things we take for granted.