why amazon.com is my new/old boyfriend

Amazon.com is always there for me no matter what time of day or wherever I am, knows what a like, keeps track of the things I've already got, listens when I want to spout about the horribleness of something or someone, advises me on mistakes I'm about to make, surprises me at my door with things I love, takes my change at coinstar counters and lets me get "free" stuff with it, recommends what might cheer me up when I'm in a mood, gives me discounts and coupons out of the blue and free super saver shipping. I've been slightly in love with amazon.com for a long time, but I'm thinking of taking this to the next level. I'm thinking of letting amazon.com cook me dinner.