what spurs me

Little ones. Seeing the joy and happiness over the mere fact that I have just walked in a room. It’s the best feeling in the world. It’s like ice cream everyday, like hot water in the shower ALL the time, like your favorite TV shows on whenever you want. It’s like home, like the most comfortable feeling in the world. Seeing that blissful, naïve, and love hungry spirit in children, whether related to me or not, is what gets me up in the morning, what keeps me going and prompts my writing.

The need to share. An unexpected and unexplainable need to wear my soul on the page. An every writer’s passion to form the contents of our brains into universal translations, black and write print. I’m such a guarded person with my heart, but not with my soul. I give it freely to those I love and those I don’t know at all. That ever-present hope for connection and harmony is an ever-present fire under me.

Memory. I can remember a handful of stories from childhood and they are separated by years and people. Memory is short in my mind, a string tied too loosely around my finger. So, I write to help resurface what my mind tries to hide and let go.

Release. Sometimes just putting down the words, making thoughts permanent is enough to let them go, to let them flow through me and into the ether. Wishes and dreams and stresses and fears can have short shelf lives if I just give them up to the writing gods. Sometimes whimsical notions can seem like serious emotions, but it’s the writing trickery letting me upload some meandering thoughts whether true or just frivolous.

Melancholy. It’s my favorite state of being, but I don’t view it as negative. I take the pensive route and that is what writing brings up in me. I’ve tried to vary it, to go for funny or wild, but melancholy is my voice, my muse, my Aphrodite. And I like the peace it brings, the contemplative stillness that lures me into some sort of zone.

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